Vincent S. Pepe

6/3/09

Vin -

I remember how you would do anything for me. How you loved me so much even when I didn't deserve it. No matter what a bitch I was to you I always loved you. Nothing else could ever change that. I thought we would have more time so I guess I took you for granted. I now appreciate all those little things you did for me. I would risk anything for you and I did then but if I would have done the one thing that was really important maybe you would still be here. To just hold your hand right now I would do anything. I know you always hated when I did that but I miss it. I miss hearing your voice, hearing you yell for me or at me, just the little things you do. Oh for one more chance to tell you how much you mean to me. If I could tell you now how you made me feel. I need you now! I have no one and it is so lonely without you. Please let me know or give me a sign that you have forgiven me.

I love you

XOXO

6/2/09

Vin -

I am just stopping by to say hello. I love and miss you so much. I don't want to go to bed with you still mad at me, please tell me your not. Maybe I could sleep again if just for one night.

Life still sucks here without you and I don't know how much more of this I can take. I can't keep this going alone.

Forever and Always yours,

Stacey

XOXOX

5/28/09

Hello again,

Things are still lonely and I am still missing you. I am seriously thinking about selling the house and I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I know you wanted me to keep it but I don't and can't stay here if I don't have a job. 

I keep walking by that place in our home where you were last and I don't want anyone to enter there.  I don't want to open the door. I wish I could keep this house and go somewhere else. Better yet I would like to take the house with me and move it to another state.  Maybe I should just burn it down.

You were right about everything... I know you are smiling at that comment. I will never be loved like I was by you and I will never love again like I did with you. However I do miss having someone to go places with and hang out with. Maybe even watch movies with. That's it just a companion.

Love Always

Stacey

XOXO

5/23/09

Vin -

There are so many emotions that I have that I don't yet understand. Others that I can't get passed. I hate all of them. The quilt, the sorrow, and the pain consume me. My love for you is eternal but still I feel as if I am always doing something wrong/ I still get mad when I wake up in the morning and I still wish one day I just wouldn't.  I feel so alone even still and feel so unloved. People keep pushing me to find someone new - I know they mean well but the thought alone makes me feel guilty.

Why did you have to leav me so soon??

I miss you more than words can say.

XOXO

5/20/09

Hi Vin,

Just got home from NY. Another bitter sweet trip.  Your stone looks good and although they made a mistake it is the way I wanted it.  I was sad most of the time I was there. I just can't seem to do anything without looking to see if yoy are next to me or behind me. Julia looked beautiful. You know how lovable she is and what a kind heart she has, it was worth the trip.

I went to dinner after the confirmation and I was late. I walked in and Kenneth got up from the table to greet me and for a 1/2 of second I thought it was you. Obviously it wasn't and for a few moments I couldn't breath.  Then Julia came running over and knocked the wind out of me.

My trip did not make my decision any better, I still don't know where to go and what to do. I wish you were here to tell me.  Please give me a sign that you are there and that you are ok.

I love you

XOXO