Vincent S. Pepe

4/12/09

Happy Easter.

Today is the last holiday I will celebrate for the the first time without you. In just a few weeks it with be the anniversary of your death and the beginning of another chapter in mine, one which didn't have to be written.

I remember so clearly our drive to NY we left in the "SS" and arrived in NY to the hotel room# 216 (funny I still have the room key). You called Peg to find out about the time to come up the hospital and we both took showers and headed over to your parents house to see your mother.

After we got there we all spoke for a while and then with your voice cracking asked " Ma, is daddy dying?" She said " I think so." You said, "How long?" and she said a few weeks... The conversation went back and forth and we left for the hospital. I drove there and I remember getting off the exit and at the light there was bolt of lightining that came down  right in front of us and you screamed.

i don't want to go into detail about our visit to the hospital but we all know the outcome. Dad died later that night. He waited to see you and to say goodbye before he left. This moment was the beginning of what would become the worst month in all of our lives.

On this Easter I think of all of these things. I hope that you and dad are together and happy and that you are looking down on us from heaven.

I miss you with every breath that I take.

Sweet Dreams My Love.

XOXO

4/11/09

Hi Hon -

I did it!! I completed these "classes" and it is now official, I can be buried with you. I do this for both you and me so we can be as close as possible. Valentina was the name I chose and I hope you remember why..

VALENTINA FRANCES ANGELINA PEPE

Standing up there looking into an audience not seeing you made me so sad. To know that not only is there no one there but more importantly you are not. I wore your bracelet even though I carry you in my heart and in my soul.

I love you..

Forever and Always

XOXO

4/8/09

This time last year we were getting ready to go to NY to see dad. I can't believe that it has been a year almost. How did I get this far without you? I know you must be so disappointed in me right now. I am about 1 step away from losing the house, I have no job, and no future. I can't believe what I let them do to me. How hard I always worked for this place and all the time I could have been spending with you while you were here. I never realized how helpless I am without you. For all those years I thought I was the strong one.. but you let me have that role because that is what i needed to make everything work. It was always you who was the strong one, I was just there for the ride.

I miss you more than you will ever know.

Forever yours,

FF - XOXO

4/2/09

Well it finally has happened, this piece of shit company laid me off. I need you to tell me what to do. Should I just walk away from the house? Should I move back to Florida or New York?

I love you..

XOXO

3/30/09

Hi Vin,

Sorry, I 'm having another selfish moment missing you. It seems the night is the worst. Not that the day is bad  but the night makes me feel so inconsoleable and so alone. Just to have your arms around me you wouldn't have to say anything...

All those times you told me not to lean on anyone that people always left you alone when you needed them most. You were so right! ou were all I ever needed and I always new that I just didn't want to believe the rest.

You always protected me and now that feeling is gone. Now I have to start all over again, but I don't want to.

Always missing you...

XOXO