Vincent S. Pepe

I can't believe it has been 6 months since I let you go. I am still lost without you and I still cannot find myself. I know I am being selfish but I didn't mean any of it.  I wanted to be a better wife I just wish there was going to be more time.

I hate the fu*&en job. I wish you were here to say what you always did to make me believe I could tough it out and that it would get better. Now I have nothing. I walk in and my patience is so thin I think of quiting everyday.

The people here are so damn nasty! I never claimed to be a saint but these people suck.  At least you were here when I came home.

I know now what I had. Well to tell you the truth I always new. I new since the first day you were something special. I knew you didn't think so and I tried to show you but just when you were there, I would say something stupid and destory it all. \

I don't know if you can hear me or read my thoughts. I hope that wherever you are you only feel the love I have for you.

I miss you my love..If only I would have stayed down stairs 6 months ago. Maybe you would still be here. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you.

Goodnight.

Love Always & Forever

XOXO

Happy Anniversary.

10/27/08..Seven years. It is not enough. I’m sorry but it sucks. It’s not the same. I need you here. I want you here. Seven will forever be an unlucky number to me now. Just 7 years of marriage!!. Yes I am lucky to have had that but I want more. I don’t know why I’m still holding on,  For what??  There is nothing now that your gone. I don’t ever want to forget anything. I try to remember anything I can. Maybe if I would have had a chance to say I love you and I am sorry. Please believe that no matter what I always loved you.

Seven years ago started off sunny and cold. Everything was a mess from the beginning. Dog hair all over my gown, my limo going to the Westbury County Club instead of Verdi’s of Westbury, the DJ arriving 1 hour late, walking down the isle with no music, the list goes on. When I saw you at the end of that walk, all that other stuff disappeared. Your hands were shaking and I thought the words would never come out of my own mouth. What is funny is that I don’t remember a thing the man said. I remember putting the ring on your finger and you putting it on mine and we kissed and left the room.

I will never forget our first dance. The beautiful song you picked for me. I can’t listen to it anymore now that you are not here.  Except today, I will listen every year on our anniversary until I die.  

You made me the happiest, proudest, wife.  I never felt as comforted, as safe, or as loved as I did with you. Through all the good and bad times we shared, I truly with all my heart,  can say we both stayed true to each other.

Now that I am alone I can’t tell you how you are missed. I hope that you remember today and smile. This day is forever ours. Your death does not end our love. No matter where I go or what I do you are always a part of me. I hope I make you proud. Happy Anniversary my love, my husband, my friend.

I love you. Forever & Always yours,

Stacey

XOXO

Hi Vin.

My patience is gone.  I just can't get my head into work or anything. My heart is still not into anything almost 6 months later. I can't believe your gone. I'm holding on.. holding onto the hope one day you will find your way home. Home to the one who has nothing without you. The one who's life was all about you even if she didn't think so at the time. If you have forgotten the way just ask me.. I will come and get you. I love and miss you now and forever.

XOXO

I 'm falling apart. I am trying to hold onto you. I still see you in my mind. I'm holding onto to all the words you said to me. I hope what I heard is true...

When you get to the gates and the angels sing
Go to that place where the church bells ring
You know I'll come runnin'... runnin' to find you

I hope this will happen. I 'm hanging on to the hope this may be true but I just dont know. All I know is I miss you and love you.

I am still here. I haven't forgotten you 23 weeks later. As always work is overwhelming my life but not my heart. That is all for you. I wish I would have held on to us above everything else so you would have enjoyed your time here. I am so sorry.

I am still waiting for my sign. I miss you more than words can say. I wish I could touch you again and just talk to you, really talk to you instead of always blowing you off.

I know I always said nasty things but I didn't mean it. I thought you were so strong you'd make it through whatever so I took you for granted. It's so hard to except the fact your gone forever.. I am sorry.

Another night without you. I miss you my love. XOXO