Vincent S. Pepe

I am still here. I haven't forgotten you 23 weeks later. As always work is overwhelming my life but not my heart. That is all for you. I wish I would have held on to us above everything else so you would have enjoyed your time here. I am so sorry.

I am still waiting for my sign. I miss you more than words can say. I wish I could touch you again and just talk to you, really talk to you instead of always blowing you off.

I know I always said nasty things but I didn't mean it. I thought you were so strong you'd make it through whatever so I took you for granted. It's so hard to except the fact your gone forever.. I am sorry.

Another night without you. I miss you my love. XOXO 

Another day goes by. Nothing new still missing you and waiting for you to come home.  The job that brought us to the place is almost over. I'm not sure how I feel about it except if we didn't come here maybe you would still be here with me.

I am so unsure of myself now. There is nothing I want to do. I wanted to do it all with you, family, career, travel the world. I don't care what happens now.

I miss you and love you forever. I cherish the time we spent together. Until we meet again. XOXO

I did a dreadful thing today. I had to move your motorcycle. I didn't want to but I needed to make room in the garage. Hopefully I don't need to do that again. I am still waiting for you to visit me and I pray everynight for GOD to hear me but it doesn't happen. Why can't I dream about you? I hope some of the reason is because you are enjoying your new life.

I have received all of the offers to move and I just can't bring myself to leave the last place we shared together. This place brings me both great sadness and sometimes great comfort at the same time if you can believe it.

I miss you so much. I still can't find the right words and I sound like a broken record. I found an old Video of us at Christmas time 2003 and right there in the middle of it all you just said "Hon, I love you." It was the greatest moment I have had over the past 5 months. It is all I have left to hold on to. I promise to keep it close forever. Goodnight my love.

Hello again my love.

Today is a special day. 10 years ago today was our first date. I know people say once you get married your wedding date is the important date but I believe in both. Today makes me sad. I can’t believe you not here, I love you and miss you.

Somewhere you are without me. Here I am without you.

I can’t express in words how much I miss you.

I pray every night for the sign you are still there,

Night after night my prayers go on unanswered, are you still here?

I don’t know why this happened, you didn’t deserve this

My life has changed forever I promise to never forget “us”.

Although you are on my mind everyday, today is especially hard. The world lost a great person I lost my best friend.

I miss you my love. Always.. XOXO

I am still missing you. Still waiting for you to open the door and say something. I am so hateful and so angry all the time. I just can't find the good in anything.  I can't find the right balance to anything either. This is supposed to be our time NOW. Haven't we suffered enough? What did I do so wrong that you could be ripped away from me and my heart ripped from my chest.  I still can't take a deep breath and I want so much just to see you again and to say I love you.  

Where are you? What are you doing? Are you happy? Do you miss me too? Do you need anything? Is there something I can do for you? I  know I was annoyed by these liitle things before and I would give anything to hear you just say "Hon, can you go get me a frap and cigs?"

I remembered that 'Stones song I liked and downloaded it if you can believe it.  I listen to it and think why couldn't this happen to those other assholes we know instead of us? Haven't I made up for all the stupid things I did when I was 20? 

I used to have faith that when it was my time to leave this place I would see all those other people that were taken from me and looked forward to that. Now I don't know if I believe that anymore. Maybe if I still did and knew I would see you soon I could find some peace.

I love you! I know it means little now but I always did. I hope you can forgive me and still love me.