Vincent S. Pepe

Hi Vin

Happy New Year. Well I managed yo stay in bed from 3 in the afternoon New Years Eve until 2 in the afternoon the next day. There is nothing to celebrate. We always stayed up to see the ball drop and just like clockwork somewhere around 11:45 it was time to have an arguement and right on cue time to kiss...

I wish for so many things selfishly. But what I would do for just one more moment....

2009 has to better than 2008 because I can't lose you again so there really isn't anything worse. I don't have any resolutions, plans, dreams or anything. I continue to wish the days by so I can see you again.

Please visit me in my sleep.

I love you.

XOXO

Merry Christmas Hon.

Today is harder than I imagined. Last night was hard too. You always loved Christmas. Here it is now well into the afternoon and I can't bring myself to leave our bed.

Although everyday I wish.. well you know what I am thinking. Today I wish for that more than ever.  What I would do to just hold your hand or lay on your chest and feel and hear your heart beat again.

My love for you never leaves me not even for a moment. I don't know if the love between two people  anywhere could be as strong as it for you and I. On this day as on all others I hope you remember my love and can feel how I miss you. I hope you have forgotten all the bad things and only remember the good. That is my Christmas wish to you my love.

Forever yours,

Stacey

XOXO

My Love

My first Thanksgiving without you. It is not hard to say I have nothing to be thankful for. I came to visit you everyday while I was in NY.  I was so alone. I walked the streets of the the town I grew up in and I was scared! I felt like I had no one there to protect me.

I did find my place next to you so so that is something positive.

I miss you more than words can say.

Goodnight for now.

XOXO

I can't believe it has been 6 months since I let you go. I am still lost without you and I still cannot find myself. I know I am being selfish but I didn't mean any of it.  I wanted to be a better wife I just wish there was going to be more time.

I hate the fu*&en job. I wish you were here to say what you always did to make me believe I could tough it out and that it would get better. Now I have nothing. I walk in and my patience is so thin I think of quiting everyday.

The people here are so damn nasty! I never claimed to be a saint but these people suck.  At least you were here when I came home.

I know now what I had. Well to tell you the truth I always new. I new since the first day you were something special. I knew you didn't think so and I tried to show you but just when you were there, I would say something stupid and destory it all. \

I don't know if you can hear me or read my thoughts. I hope that wherever you are you only feel the love I have for you.

I miss you my love..If only I would have stayed down stairs 6 months ago. Maybe you would still be here. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you.

Goodnight.

Love Always & Forever

XOXO

Happy Anniversary.

10/27/08..Seven years. It is not enough. I’m sorry but it sucks. It’s not the same. I need you here. I want you here. Seven will forever be an unlucky number to me now. Just 7 years of marriage!!. Yes I am lucky to have had that but I want more. I don’t know why I’m still holding on,  For what??  There is nothing now that your gone. I don’t ever want to forget anything. I try to remember anything I can. Maybe if I would have had a chance to say I love you and I am sorry. Please believe that no matter what I always loved you.

Seven years ago started off sunny and cold. Everything was a mess from the beginning. Dog hair all over my gown, my limo going to the Westbury County Club instead of Verdi’s of Westbury, the DJ arriving 1 hour late, walking down the isle with no music, the list goes on. When I saw you at the end of that walk, all that other stuff disappeared. Your hands were shaking and I thought the words would never come out of my own mouth. What is funny is that I don’t remember a thing the man said. I remember putting the ring on your finger and you putting it on mine and we kissed and left the room.

I will never forget our first dance. The beautiful song you picked for me. I can’t listen to it anymore now that you are not here.  Except today, I will listen every year on our anniversary until I die.  

You made me the happiest, proudest, wife.  I never felt as comforted, as safe, or as loved as I did with you. Through all the good and bad times we shared, I truly with all my heart,  can say we both stayed true to each other.

Now that I am alone I can’t tell you how you are missed. I hope that you remember today and smile. This day is forever ours. Your death does not end our love. No matter where I go or what I do you are always a part of me. I hope I make you proud. Happy Anniversary my love, my husband, my friend.

I love you. Forever & Always yours,

Stacey

XOXO