Vincent S. Pepe

I am still missing you. Still waiting for you to open the door and say something. I am so hateful and so angry all the time. I just can't find the good in anything.  I can't find the right balance to anything either. This is supposed to be our time NOW. Haven't we suffered enough? What did I do so wrong that you could be ripped away from me and my heart ripped from my chest.  I still can't take a deep breath and I want so much just to see you again and to say I love you.  

Where are you? What are you doing? Are you happy? Do you miss me too? Do you need anything? Is there something I can do for you? I  know I was annoyed by these liitle things before and I would give anything to hear you just say "Hon, can you go get me a frap and cigs?"

I remembered that 'Stones song I liked and downloaded it if you can believe it.  I listen to it and think why couldn't this happen to those other assholes we know instead of us? Haven't I made up for all the stupid things I did when I was 20? 

I used to have faith that when it was my time to leave this place I would see all those other people that were taken from me and looked forward to that. Now I don't know if I believe that anymore. Maybe if I still did and knew I would see you soon I could find some peace.

I love you! I know it means little now but I always did. I hope you can forgive me and still love me.

I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always

Hi Hon.

I went to the movies today and saw a movie I know we would have gone to see together. Everything reminds me of you. The calls aren't as frequent and everyone has moved on with their own lives and mine is still at a stand still.  I miss you too much. There is so much more I want to say but I just can't seem to express them. I love you.. 

What am I doing? Where am I going? I didn't realize I am so dependent on you. I am messing up everything. I still can't figure out how to turn on the damn motorcycle. Since you are not here no one has detailed the SS so I took it to that place to have it done and they broke piece off the car and it looks like shit $135.00 later. No one in this redneck town can find me the parts to fix the window in the truck. It is just one thing after another.

I have always had this black cloud that followed me but I now realize it really didn't matter and it really didn't bother me because I had you to come home to. I miss you. Say something so I know your still there and maybe be I will stop being so selfish.

8/18/08

Hi Vin.  I hope you like it.  I know it is a little late. I take it everywhere with me just as I take you everywhere with me in my heart. I miss you. Love you.